Across dictionaries, the definition of grace varies, but the common factor is the demonstration of things such as love, forgiveness, favour, kindness and goodwill towards others, even when it isn’t deserved.
In coaching, we frequently come across relationships that need to change for the better – colleagues, family, friends and spouses. Our relationships can bring us the most joy and the most pain, and without them life could lack meaning and purpose. In research and through talking to people about relationships, it seems that often the person who is the ‘problem’ is not the one who initiates the change. More often, it is the person experiencing the ‘problem person’ who is motivated to make a change happen. To instigate change means facing the issue, and confrontation can be difficult for many of us. It feels unpredictable; we fear what might happen if it goes wrong, the upset, making things worse, or being rejected and hurt.
The person that confronts a situation with grace, taking care to do it in a way that is non adversarial, gets the most success. This grace approach doesn’t seek winning, power, but seeks harmony without having to prove a point. The attitude is different because it is accepting and considerate of the other person, while seeing that there is a problem that needs addressed. Our traditional New Year Resolutions centre on improvements and bettering ourselves. Maybe you have a relationship that would benefit from some grace…I know I have.